Just Gassing Through

I’m going to go ahead and do you all a favor by leaving out the ever-present, overly-aggressive re-cap.  I know you know what happened.  We all do.

Every morning we hear the same announcement: “A crowded train car is not an excuse for unwanted sexual contact.”  However, at no point in that message do they say anything about unwanted olfactory contact.

I realize that no one is without fault, with one very obvious exception.  Ahem.

However, if you spend most evenings tossing Doritos Extra-Super Loco Tacos from Taco Bell down your gullet, just know that I’m looking at you first.

The subway is our shared home away from home – like a homeless shelter that we have to live in with actual homeless people – so with this in mind, what happened yesterday on the Downtown 1 train should not surprise me.  And I suppose it doesn’t, but this is about respect.  And gas.

Listen, I know you want me to tell you who farted during the morning commute yesterday, but I’m not here to point fingers.  I am here to remind that it could have been any of you.  And I will find out who you were, and ruin your day.  Just like you ruined mine.

I will find you.


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