I’m going to go ahead and do you all a favor by leaving out the ever-present, overly-aggressive re-cap. I know you know what happened. We all do.
Every morning we hear the same announcement: “A crowded train car is not an excuse for unwanted sexual contact.” However, at no point in that message do they say anything about unwanted olfactory contact.
I realize that no one is without fault, with one very obvious exception. Ahem.
However, if you spend most evenings tossing Doritos Extra-Super Loco Tacos from Taco Bell down your gullet, just know that I’m looking at you first.
The subway is our shared home away from home – like a homeless shelter that we have to live in with actual homeless people – so with this in mind, what happened yesterday on the Downtown 1 train should not surprise me. And I suppose it doesn’t, but this is about respect. And gas.
Listen, I know you want me to tell you who farted during the morning commute yesterday, but I’m not here to point fingers. I am here to remind that it could have been any of you. And I will find out who you were, and ruin your day. Just like you ruined mine.