Lean Over: Women, Work, and Women’s Work

My book, co-written with fellow comic Alison Leiby, is finally here!

Lean Over: Women, Work, and Women’s Work is now available for purchase on Amazon.com.  Buy your copy here: http://www.amazon.com/Lean-Over-Women-Womens-ebook/dp/B00DL31O5I/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1372095988&sr=1-1&keywords=lean+over

Here’s a sneak peek:

Gloria Steinem, Helen Gurley Brown, Susan B. Anthony, Hilary Clinton, and Snooki.

What do all these women have in common?  They all had vaginas.  Allegedly.

These women fought hard for equality and paved the way for modern women to do things like work for two years before leaving to “raise your family” or sell your homemade feather jewelry on Etsy.

Women became 50 percent of the college graduates in the United States in the early 1980s, so equality: achieved!  We did it!  But the fight is far from over.  It is damn near impossible to be cast on Bravo’s Real Housewives series and Lean Cuisine prices are at an all time high.

But despite what Beyonce may have you believe, men still run the world.

Ideally women would run half our companies and men run half our homes, but I think even the kids would eventually get sick of pop-tarts and bourbon for dinner. And my co-workers would probably get tired of all my emotions. Sad face.

Being a powerful woman is not all meal delivery systems and Botox appointments.  You will face challenges, and these challenges will be challenging. It’ll be like your own version of The Hunger Games, but with less gluten.  In the office, you will be sexually harassed, or as I like to call it, noticed and appreciated. The off handed remarks about how your tits look in that top are probably your boss’ way of telling you that you’re a valued employee.  Just know that he is a man, and he can’t help it.  Plus, if he’s single, go for it, girl!  He totally likes you.

In case you haven’t noticed, men and women are very different.  Men like the color blue, while women prefer cupcakes.  In a recent study of high level executives conducted at Harvard, it was discovered that over 92% of men consider themselves to be hard workers while only 13% of women were happily married.  That same study revealed that 67% of men did not obsess over whether or not PinkBerry was lying about how many calories are in a small cup. Conversely, it was discovered that this is all women think about all the time.

However, women have made some significant advances in world of business in recent years.  For example, Khloe Kardashian – arguably the least attractive of the sisters – has amassed a small fortune of shoes, handbags, and Sacajawea coins.  While her brother, a man, has only gotten fat.  Heidi Klum is another inspirational example of a woman initially being admired for her good looks, but ultimately working hard to sleep her way to the top.  In fact, almost 87% of all working mothers are women.

I am aware of the criticism for speaking out about issues of inequality, or even really speaking at all because I’m a woman and no one asked me a question. But the publisher sent me a check, and someone to write it, and now I can add author to my long list of accomplishments.  Please do not look to this book as a source of helpful advice, or guidance as you tackle your own career.  I cannot recall one woman who helped me in my life, so figure it out on your own.

Enjoy.

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