This past Saturday, I went to a wedding.
No, no. You misunderstood. They wanted me to be there.
I love a good wedding. It combines a few of my most favorite things: free drinks, dance circles, panic attacks, sparkles, and perhaps most importantly, free drinks.
However, before I could get to the bar, I had to go to church. Thankfully, this particular minister must have known I was coming. He kept the ceremony short – and very sweet – with only one tangent that left me re-thinking everything I have ever learned from relationships and also, from Mrs. Leibowitz, my 6th grade geometry teacher.
Before the couple exchanged rings, the minister explained that he was going to teach them six things about the rings that they had to remember forever. No pressure.
Here is his list:
1. The rings are round. Got it.
2. The rings should be worn on your hand. Seems like a reasonable request.
3. The rings are precious. Yeah, we know. Golum told us.
4. When playing Sonic the Hedgehog, try to collect as many rings as possible.
6. Rings are one of the most challenging events in mens’ gymnastics.
As you can see, I was able to remember each of the six things – verbatim – and have posted them here part of my wedding gift to the couple.
Congratulations, Benj & Missy! And also, you’re welcome.