It’s Fat Tuesday. Which is basically the best Tuesday.
In honor of my favorite Fat’s –Domino, Albert, & Trans — I will be gobbling down some key fatty treats in an effort to make sure my pants do not fit by the end of the day. This will likely be a challenge as I am currently rocking off-brand Pajama Jeans, and these suckers are STRETCHY (and flattering).
Still, I am up for it! And have armed myself with cupcakes, tubs of frosting, pizza, meatball subs, nachos, buffalo wings, snack wraps, and one strawberry fruit roll-up.*
And the timing couldn’t be better! What with Valentine’s Day right around the corner, the drugstores are stocked with some of my favorite goodies (ANYTHING WITH PEANUT BUTTER) and the cashiers just assume you’re throwing a party for your sweetheart or bringing the candy to the office or feeding it to your cats as a part of your joint-suicide pact. Oh you cashiers and your blind optimism!
I don’t really know what the origin of this holiday is – I think it’s like a tailgate for Jesus? – but I am in it to win it. And if you see me later, don’t throw beads at me and think I’m going to rip my top off. This is the only lobster bib I could find on short notice.
*They were giving them out for free on the subway. Or maybe I took it out of a kid’s lunch box. SHUT UP.