This past weekend, I had the distinct honor of performing stand-up comedy on the road. So, yeah. You should be impressed.
Three shows in three cities in three nights may seem like a lot of work for someone as committed to the sloth lifestyle as myself, but I was promised free food at each location so the weekend basically morphed into an episode of “Diners, Drive-In’s, and Dives” with slightly fewer jokes but more actual home-style waffle consumption.
Sunday afternoon arrived, and I geared up for what was clearly going to be the most exhilarating road trip of my entire life. Thanks to some screw up with scheduling, and some half-way decent stalking, I managed to snag a ride down with The Man*, Jimmy Failla.
For those of you who are not best friends with Jimmy (like I am), I want to tell you something: he is literally the greatest. In all categories. Not only is he an unbelievably talented stand-up comic, but he also writes books, hosts pod casts, drives taxi cabs, AND he invented the fist bump. It is worth noting that he is not accepting any applications for new best friends right now (or ever) because he already has one and it’s me.
On the ride down to the show, Jimmy and I mostly just talked shop. And went shopping. For shoes. No joke. This is something real that happened. Never in my life have I gone on a date – I mean, gotten a ride to a show – where the guy insisted that we pick up some new kicks, but you know, we were just making memories. He also bought shoes for his wife which I also thought was a surprising move for a man on a date with me, but he reminded me that this was not a date at all, and I should, “Probably lay off the Pinot.”
I wish I could tell you that I crushed this Sunday night crowd like some sort of exceptionally beautiful comedic monster truck, but that probably wouldn’t be fair to monster trucks. They’re all so beautiful. It was a great show, and afterwards, I sang the “Living Single” theme song with some lovely ladies from the front row. Because I am a giver, people. I give, and I give, and then I take most of it back when you’re not looking.
The truth is that there were a couple speed bumps (in keeping with the road trip theme) that I had to get over during Sunday’s performance. I know I may seem perfect, and yes, everything is as it seems. But seriously, fist bumps of thanks go out to Jimmy Failla, my comedic hero, for having my back. You’re literally The Man.
*The original phrase, “You’re the man!” was created after someone hung out with Jimmy Failla for five minutes.
**If you see Jimmy Failla, please do not bring up my current (and indelible) best friend status. He’s very busy, and also, sometimes he plays this game where he pretends to not know who I am. God, he is HILARIOUS.